Monday, February 4, 2013

I May Not Be A Blogger... Right Now....

I needed to stop for awhile, school and after school activities were taking up all our time and then my mom's health began to really deteriorate. She has Parkinson's plus, which basically means she also suffers from dementia. I probably haven't had a conversation with her in 6 months, and I'm not sure if she even knows who I am anymore. My parents adopted me older, so where I feel that I shouldn't be dealing with this at 41, my mom is 80 and this is just where we are. My dad sits with her in the nursing home every day for hours. He is truly dedicated to her. Several weeks ago he called me crying (I have never seen my dad cry.) saying he found her unresponsive in bed and they were calling for an ambulance.

Long story short, a UTI led to sepsis, which eventually leads us to today where my mom is dying in hospice. Her body is shutting down, and as my dad's only person to turn to, I have helped choose a casket, her last outfit, the plot, you name it. I am glad to be there for my dad. I am blessed to have a husband that says "just go, I have it here". I also know that I want to get this stuff out of the way for Billy and I, my kids don't need to do this stuff.

My kids all have appropriate clothing, they know it's coming soon. (well, the 4 yr olds don't) Soon I will no longer have a mom here on earth. And I will have to figure out a new path with my dad. Change (no welcome friend of mine) is coming and there is nothing I can do. I told my mom last night that I was going to take care of my dad. I hope she heard me. Pray for her peace and my dad's....