Friday, December 10, 2010

There are Days When I Don't Like Parenting....

And today is one of those days....  I always love my kids, but honestly I don't always love parenting the icky parts of it.  I mean who does?!  Who looks forward to punishing or yelling or just the feeling of being so disappointed in your child and yourself, because of course, this would not be happening if you had been a better parent, if you hadn't let them watch so much tv, or not eat as many sweets...  So here we are with one of our beautiful children, not acting so beautiful...  And what is really killing Billy and I is that we just can't see that he WANTS to change.  We don't know that he feels disappointment in himself, that he is beating himself up inside over his choices throughout the day.  He cries, he does a great sad face, but then he jumps right back in at school and doesn't finish homework, forgets it at school, "didn't know about the assignment". (that's my favorite, the whole class kept it as a secret from you, dude)  You don't want to think that this is who he is.  That this child that is so unbelievably smart, just doesn't care to learn or achieve.  It's just hard. :(

So after taking away privileges (doesn't work), doing push ups (works a little), and pulling allowance, we're sitting here wondering what next.  He's TEN.  Eight more years of this God knows what.  So think happy thought for us, he is such a sweet, smart boy and could be whatever he wanted.  He just doesn't want to be anything.  My hope is that this is immaturity, that he will (hopefully soon!) find that desire to accomplish things, take pride in his work and himself.  That's all I want for him....

Have a wonderful weekend, good luck if you have the Christmas shop.....

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