Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I Started With A Trainer Yesterday... Today I Can't Reach The Top Shelf Without Tears...

Ok, so yesterday I started my refresher on exercise. A friend and I took advantage of a Groupon deal, $29 for 2 months with a trainer, unlimited visits. I knew that if I didn't take someone with me, I'd slack off. Not my intention, but really, with 5 kids and a life, exercise always gets a back seat to me. I'd rather sit on the couch after the kids go to bed and watch meaningless tv with Bravo than actually work out. At night. When I am sleepy. Don't judge, I know I'm not alone. :) So anyway, right after I dropped off the shorties at Mother's Day Out, I met up with said friend and we were off. I've said it before, my weight is fine, my clothes fit and I do Weight Watchers points instinctively. But I am turning 40 in 4 months and I would like to really, truly feel good about myself when it gets here. Cuz let me tell you, I will be weeping and wearing black on the actual day. I irrationally fear 40, I know. 35 was bad, but I'm still here. I think part of it may also be that I see my three big kids getting older and more independent and I see that I'm not so necessary. Yes, dramatic, but they don't need me to pull clothes out, cut their food, wipe their faces (well, yes, sometimes they do..). My babies are going into middle school next year and I don't like it. I mean, not enough to home school, just enough to whine about it.

Back to the work out. So each day they focus on a specific area. Lucky me it was shoulders, back and arms. I was shaking when we left. PATHETIC... But it was a killer workout for a return to sweat. But I did it. Then I went and bought two new pairs of work out pants, because I saw this super cute pair on another girl and I had to have them. I think wearing cute gear helps the psyche. So this morning I get up. OH.MY.GOD.... I am sooooo sore. Mildly sore from the waist down, the warm up yesterday included burpees and squats. But my shoulders and arms are SO over it. If I didn't have a severe coffee addiction, I'm not sure I would have bothered reaching for the mugs. And the shorties? 38 pounds of "oh my goodness" every time I lift.

But I am ok with it. It's all good. And the fact that I feel that way is weird for me. But these bat wings must go. And even though I know that I am thin, I'd like to feel fit. I'd like to look in the mirror and be ok. I'm not sure  it will ever be possible. I was a fat kid, then depressed fat teenager. Even after I lost the 40 pounds in college, I still didn't feel thin. It's a crappy mind trick. I don't expect to run to the bikini section of Macy's, but maybe when I put on my sensible, black one piece, I won't go for the cover up so fast. That would be a win.

Tomorrow is day two. That is stomach and legs. Lordy... Have a great one!

1 comment:

  1. I don't envy you the process, but I am sure the results will be well worth the pain! Keep up the good work.