This has been a hard week for me as a mom to almost eleven year old boys. Billy and I have tried very hard to raise responsible, well behaved, good kids. This week makes me question (while it shouldn't, there will always be slip ups, boys are boys....) whether or not we are doing a good job. It also makes me fear the next few years as they get deeper into teen years and the rest of the mess that goes along with it all.
The past few months have been tough with getting the boys to take on responsibility of things that I feel should no longer be on my plate. Should I have to make sure homework is finished and in the backpack? Do I really need to tell a 10 year old that he needs to make his bed? There has to be a time when I step back and watch. Whether it's to relish in their successes or sadly watch them fall and keep your fingers crossed that they will get themselves back up and right their wrongs. Billy and I felt that this year (5th grade) was the time to loosen the apron strings. Boy, it was bumpy. Aaron had way too many "I forgot my homework", "I didn't see that part of the assignment", etc.... And Kevin, my "I can get away with doing just this much" gave me heartburn. :)
This summer, while it has just begun, has me yelling about personal responsibility (Yes, I yell. Don't judge me. I'm loud in general.), yelling about selfish behavior and being kind. Monday was supposed to be focused on Fathers Day, we had a lot to do. Instead it became all about the gift cards they had received for their birthday and why couldn't we go to Target. Their dad does a lot for them. He works long hours and takes them to countless sporting events. He deserved the attention they weren't willing to give him. Yesterday was more sibling arguments, "he took my game", "he went through my stuff". Typical, but it goes on and on. What happened to that whole twin bond stuff? Aaron and Kevin have never had that. And today was the final straw. Kevin took something that didn't belong to him during swim team practice. He quickly confessed to me, but I am sure it is only because a mom caught him and told him she was calling home. It was just a Coke, but where are his morals? Where did he get the lack of character? It truly breaks my heart. One, because I want him to grow up to be a productive member of society, but also a good person. What did we do wrong? And how do you fix it? Sigh...
He will have punishments. I told him that I was so disappointed, that it not only reflects on him, but on his family. I am probably being more dramatic than I should be. But I worry about the teenager he will be. Maybe we need to excavate for a basement and he can stay there with the rest of them forever. :)
Enough blabbering. I worked out again this morning, that's good. The 2 pounds I somehow gained not eating anything off program, that's bad. :( I mean if I'm going to gain, give me a taco for crying out loud. Is there no justice?!